Friday, June 4, 2010

Jewish Personals

 



 
Jewish Personals

*  Shul Gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning. Would like to take you out Saturday night. Please write.

*  Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it for eight days. Who knows?

*  Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important.

*  Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can get get. Get it? I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.

*  Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha B'av, Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks companion for living life in the "fast" lane.

*  Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.

*  Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write.

*  Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality.

*  Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please.

*  Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it.

*  Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.

*  Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.

*  80-year-old bubbe, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I?

*  I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.

*  Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

*  Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

*  Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK.


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