Rodney Dangerfield lines……a/c

Rodney Dangerfield

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag
over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly...
They use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.