| I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it. | | FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you're naked in church. | | Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. | | Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken. | | Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! | | My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be. | | Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years. | | In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday. | | A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory | | The statement below is true.
The statement above is false. | | I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect. | | KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names. | | I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable. | | Preserve the Spotted Owl
(in formaldehyde) | | When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred". | | money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch. | | Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol. | | I like cats too.
Let's exchange recipes. | | Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. | | I am having an out-of-money experience. | | Corduroy pillows are making headlines! | | | |
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